(13)Unlucky

For the past two weeks I have been haunted by beeps and flashing numbers. NICU parents develop this fear from the first day and I doubt that it will leave me anytime soon. For now I am living in four hour increments.

Early this morning I was told by the doctor that Sienna still hadn’t produced any urine and that there was cause to believe that there was a clot in her kidneys. On top of that I was told that her heart rate had dropped dangerously low and chest compressions were required to get it back up. I naturally asked what else could be done and the doctor flatly explained that she was out of ideas medically and that if there was a clot then there was nothing that she could do.

When we got to the hospital we were told that we would have to wait to see Sienna and so we went to Avery’s room. The doctor told us all of the good news about her but then explained that part of her brain in dead. The bad news just keeps coming.

When we got to Sienna’s room we were told that the one bit of good news was that her eyes had opened. This news caused Robin to collapse and me to become paralyzed. I’m not sure why it was so hard to take, maybe because it just feels like it would be easier if she does go to never have looked into her eyes, maybe it’s just because it’s one little good thing on top of a really bad thing. Due to our break down the staff put up the little screens so that we could have some privacy. I asked the doctor to be frank with me and she said that if there was no urine produced within four hours then the longest time that Sienna might make it is two days. My new friend Mike was there visiting his daughter and I saw him begin to sob with me. As I was making my way back to Robin, Mike intercepted me and offered his hug. New friends can be acquired in the strangest of places.

Robin and I asked to wait in the one area of the NICU that is without the beeps and blinking numbers that tell us that our baby is in need of help and while in that room we actually both dozed off, the emotions of the day taking their toll on our physical beings. We spent time going back and forth and before long it was 6:00 pm, five hours after we were told to wait four hours. The doctor came in and stated that she had made calls to specialists and that she had decided to give Sienna the maximum dosage of the medication that might make her urinate. She also told us that the Renal specialist had told her that on some occasions, the brain makes other organs shut down so that blood is diverted to the brain after periods of low blood pressure and surgery. She further stated that sometimes the kidneys start working again and that we would be best served to go home and try to rest and that we should try calling back in four hours.

The four hour window came and the call to the hospital revealed that there has still been no urine although most of the rest of the report was fairly good.  Hopefully the next four hour report will be better.

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17 Responses to (13)Unlucky

  1. We’re praying for your girls. Hard.

  2. Angela Clinton says:

    Robin and Quin,
    I am praying for your two little angel babies and both of you. I’m praying for pee! I’m praying for healthly growth and peaceful moments during this arduous journey.
    Love,
    Angela

  3. Mike says:

    Quin and Robin,

    Word’s can’t being to express how I felt today while there with you two and even after I got home. I couldn’t bare to stay there in the room because it all started to become surreal and began to brought me back to the moment’s surrounding my tragic event. The drive home was surrounded by tunnel vision and the rest of my day was in a “numb” stage. I pray with all my heart and soul that Sienna does pass urine, even if just a little bit. I had no idea about Avery and I’ll be doing the same for her. My heart is with you and your entire family!!

  4. Susan Mcmurray says:

    Rough day. I am so sorry. We continue to pray and have hope. Hugs from CA!!!

  5. Erin and Steven Shillingburg says:

    many prayers being sent from the Shillingburg family.

  6. Erin and Steven Shillingburg says:

    Early this morning i was searching for words to say and i was speechless… but then when i got up this was put right in front of me…

    Isaiah 41:10 – “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

  7. Sharon Boisvert says:

    My heart just breaks for the two of you. Be strong and love and prayers are still comng.

  8. Reed Engdahl says:

    Robin and Quin, I am praying for your wonderful family!

  9. East says:

    Q-

    We’re praying for you and your girls brother!

  10. Suzanne Shutty says:

    Quin and Robin,
    Thank you for sharing your emotional journey with us. I wish there was something more we could do along with praying and sharing your tears. Please continue to be strong for the girls, knowing that you have all of our love and support and continuous prayer.
    Big Hug.

  11. Cherie says:

    Every moment is special right now … To better news & peeing! Come on Sienna! Come on Avery! xoxo

  12. Sarah Cullifer says:

    Thoughts and prayers are being said for you both and your precious daughters. Our entire office is praying for pee for little Sienna. Do not lose hope!

  13. Donna Looney says:

    You are all in our thoughts and prayers. On Sunday we celebrated the Sacrement of Annointing of the Sick. We included your little ones in the special prayers… and when we sang the antiphon, our voices reached out to you both and your your babies:

    “Trust in the Lord. Be Strong. Be Brave. Trust in the Lord”.

  14. joaquin says:

    We love you guys! Never Quit!

  15. Mike Halsey says:

    The silence of my loss for words is the sound of my loudest prayers. You go girls!

  16. Angel Roggenkamp says:

    I cried as I got ready for my interview. I stared in the mirror and took a long look and just pulled myself together. I said in deep thought as I prayed that God has blessed us with two most precious girls and we must contiue to pray. And as I sat there staring I just said please God give my nieces the chance they so desserve and I rather be the one to go then them. I rather give my life just for them. Reality does hit home when it is blood that is fighting to live. I pray to you God to please make my nieces strong give the power of love and and faith as well as hope that they will make it through this difficult time. Please God give my brother and Robin the strength to continue through these battles

  17. Tammy Robinson says:

    Just want you to know how much we are thinking of you and praying for the girls. Continue to be strong and take care of each other!

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